Look, just don’t talk to me about it, OK? I know, I know, I scream all the time. It’s just what I do. You don’t like it, you can move somewhere else. I’m a brown Chinese goose, and a handsome one – I mean, I’m REALLY handsome. I am not interested in other geese, never have been, never will be. I like ducks. I just really like ducks. I had a best friend of all time. One day, a hawk came crashing down from the sky and, bam, like that, my friend was gone. That’s when I started screaming.
I came here because there were other geese. I explained to them over and over again, “I’m not a goose guy. I like ducks.” FINALLY someone listened (took long enough) and now I have a gang of four ducks I look after. I like it. They like it. We eat together. I scream if they go too far away. It works for us.